whisper ramble asmr / just chatting with you ♡

hiii ❤️ this last week has been a massive struggle emotionally & im dealing with something that feels extremely hard to accept and process. a lot of regret / shame and grief. but I went on a retreat this weekend and although I felt sad / distracted / numb for a lot of it & didn't feel able to be my normal self, I also felt very held and hugged and grounded by the retreat as it was a safe space to feel whatever you needed to and the people were really calming and lovely. It really helped me calm my nervous system & soothe my body which had been in a high anxiety / panic state for a week straight. im feeling grateful for the weekend as it really held my hand & I felt taken care of at a time where I really needed it. I think I would have spiralled really bad if not for that so it was amazing not to be alone and it kept bringing me out of a feeling of despair into a feeling of okayness / safety / calmness. it was going in waves. we didn't have hardly any phone signal either so it was great to have a break from my phone honestly felt so healthy to do. so this ramble is just chatting about the nice parts (and some side tangents obvs) but yeah I just got back today and then made this viddddd

thank u for existing i love u