To Address Backlash

I'm sorry if my tone is harsh. I do not intend to be crass...
This is mainly targeted at those who have been unsympathetic and rude to me. I am really frustrated. I just want to get my page out there again and to be able to continue doing what I do. I shouldn't have to keep explaining myself for monetizing or promoting things.
transcript:
Hello everyone, I'm writing this post because I've been getting hate over the past few days over what I'm doing with the channel.
I would like to address this.

I have been shadow banned by youtube for MANY YEARS. I have received many many complaints
that people don't see my comments, videos in the subscriptions, notifications even if they had it turned on and even
get automatically unsubbed from me. Personally I keep having vids deleted out of nowhere and I have so many ads on my channel
I did not put but I have not even got paid since 2019 for them. I have been very very transparent about the ongoings of my
channel always. I started this channel as you all know to share my art and it has always been about the art and the viewers
and will always be. However, there has been low engagement for that many years as well. I spend ALOT of time, effort, and MY
OWN money on this channel, buying props, buying equipment and I am extremely dejected over the perfomance of the channel.
"you shouldnt care about the views" such comments are incredibly ignorant ridiculous and if I don't care about sharing my art
and having people watch my videos I might as well just keep them all in a hard disk and not even have youtube.

Secondly, I don't have wealthy parents, infact I am financially struggling all the time. You don't know my situation, you dont
know me personally. You don't know what I am going through and it's so easy to say " just save money' or "just get a job".
Over the past 2 years I have lost my job to the pandemic. I have been trying to get new students since and it is NOT easy.
Yes I am selling custom vids, yes I am doing patreon, yes I am doing as much work and making as much content as I can.
This is something I am good at. Pardon me for wanting to use whatever cards I have, whatever resources I have to make a better
life for myself. Why are you hating on me for it? So many other people are earning money online. Why do you target me?

I have started to make more casual and shorter vids in addition to my lore and experimental content. People liked them, people
suggested them. I am not" turning mainstream". I am doing what I want to with my channel and what I feel like making in my own
style. If you only want to watch the roleplays, I have playlists and it's not like I'm forcing you. The content here is
literally FREE.

And yes I would like a greater reach and to potentially make a career. It is not a bad thing, why do you persecute me for it?
Do you really expect me to be pretentious and say oh it's alright I like having my channel unfairly disadvantaged and having no
one watching? Oh im studying computing, I spend lots on time on my hobby and I have an opportunity to make money with it but no
thanks? I want to be unbanned for starters. Even if I am not financially struggling, why not? it is just a career option that is
available. I am allowed. I'm not doing anything to you. Maybe you should keep up with the times.

I have been getting bots on my channel. This is because I found a guy who told me he could help with getting unbanned. He told me
he is going to put up advertisements across platforms to get potential real time engagement. I have been transparent about this
when asked in my comments and even discussing it on discord. So yeah turns out to be bots. Not what I expected but
if it helps right? Do you really think I would agree to a deal if I knew it would look so apparent to be bots? Do youu not
thinnk I care about my channel? And btw I'm not even getting a million bots. the amount of views was what I was getting before.
it is just to keep ongoing activity on my channel.

I'm sorry if it offends you that Im trying to combat youtube from LITERALLY trying to kill my channel that I worked so hard for.
And to the people who are hating, I never see you engage with my content before but now you are complaining. What gives?