ASMR Whisper | "One Must Dear To Loose Foothold To Not Lose Oneself"

ASMR Whisper | Real Talk
"One must dear to lose foothold in order to not lose oneself." Just a quote my husband told me that he heard from a therapist. That`s where I`m at. I have lost my foothold, and it was not great at all to begin with.
So what I`m trying to say is that I am working on my personal struggles in life to become a better human being to myself and others. I have some defense mechanisms that are not serving any purpose to me anymore, and that are pushing people away. Social anxiety and depression is also baked into this mix after a lot of self isolation and running away my whole life.
Life is not always easy, but it can always get better.
At this current moment I dont want any close friendships, because I`m not able to keep them. I`m not a good friend. People might think they want me as their friend, but they don`t know the real me, my dark side, my anger. Deep down I`m carrying a lot of anger and bitterness towards different kind of situations, and sometimes I`m filled with hate and a rage. I`m really insecure, and terrified deep down. I`m not always this "cute" "nice" "innocent" girl that you describe me as. And it makes it even worse when people call me nice, because I don`t feel that about myself at all. Well, I can be nice, and I`m nice to some people. People that I trust, like my husband, and my son of course, and a few others, but other than that everyone is a threat, and I keep my distance to protect myself. I have difficulties trusting that people have their best intention towards me. Trust is a big issue. I have a lot of self doupt and self hate. I don`t feel safe around most people. I feel that people are not interested in me, only what I have, and I`m sure they will try to take if from me if I gave them the opportunity. So because of that I`m protecting what is most important to me with all that I am. I`m a hypersensitive human being, and hurtfull experiences in life has been causing me some real issues in meeting with other people. So far running away has been my solution every time, because rejection and the fear of not being understood and accepted for my feelings and who I am is to painful to bear. Recently I just realized my self Image is really bad. I`m not running away anymore. Running away did not get me anywhere in life. I`m going the opposite direction, and it is painful, but I guess it has to be like this for a while for it to become better in the future.

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Hello Fluffy Teddy Bears

I make videos for the purpose of ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) and relaxation.

I hope you like this video, and find it relaxing and tingling.

Thanks for watching!

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