vlog | prepping to move to amsterdam, barbie movie, and saying goodbye

hey guys! long time no see!
by the time you're seeing this, I've already moved and been in Amsterdam for a few months. I wanted to make a super real and candid video about the moving process, featuring the good, the bad, and the ugly parts. moving takes a lot of work and sacrifice and isn't always an easy process. if you truly don't want it, there's going to be so many opportunities for you to not go through with it; so many hardships that make you feel like it might not be worth it; so many tears shed. but this move has felt long overdue for me, so in this video I'll explain what I've been doing the past few years and what led me to this decision! I'll also bring you along for the whole prep, up until my very last day.
**I do mention this in the video, but I wanted to be as real as possible in this. meaning: I am not trying to impress you or look good or be an "influencer." I'm trying to show you the real me, going through a real life thing, whether that is flattering or exciting or not. so comments about appearance or any of that are unwanted and completely irrelevant. I think we can get past that, right? I shouldn't have to say this, but I know how people can be.**
I know I haven't been as active anymore (there's many reasons for this.) But if you do have questions or want to see more of my life in EU, I'd be happy to start making more content, slowly but surely. Sometimes, when you've been gone so long, it's hard to come back. I wasn't sure anyone cared or even remembered me anymore. I've really left that era of my online persona behind for awhile now, living simply and normally, in order to better myself and find a healthier path. Studying has always been a safe haven for me; learning reminds me of my worth outside of the confines of what the internet thinks it may be.
one day I hope I can share exactly what I've been through without holding back, but all I can say now is I hope you'll wish me the best and cheer me on in this next phase of my life, because the challenges won't end once I move. Moving abroad and being a foreigner will always have its challenges, but its pros are stronger for me at the moment.
I love you guys. Thank you to those who still check in, who still care about me and my silly little life. It hasn't always been easy for me to come online these days, but this one is for you, the person who truly is curious about my life and isn't trying to fit me into a box.
I hope you'll enjoy the video. I know it's long, but it's real.
Love you.