💙

heartbreak, rage, heartbreak, rage. I don't have all the words I wish I did...this is my virtual hug to you.

a note on this channel: I promise I haven't forgotten about it. in fact, I really miss making videos. truthfully, i'm conflicted about what to even make videos about when there is just so much we're all trying to get some comfort and relief from—much of which I know I will never experience firsthand. that pressure (even if self-imposed) can definitely get to me. i ask myself, how can I offer something comforting without implying the pain is an individual problem rather than a function of this capitalist, white supremacist society? has my previous content done exactly that? what does it look like to acknowledge those systems in this strange beautiful medium of ASMR?? can I? but also, how can I not?? if so, how do I talk about horrible painful things while trying to help people relax and fall asleep? is that even what people want? either way, should i make art about specific experiences that I can speak to, or make art that speaks for itself and may be interpreted in a variety of ways I can't necessarily anticipate? what do I want to say?

all that's to say—this project is extraordinarily meaningful to me. I think that's why these questions haunt me so much and why they don't have easy answers. my absence is not for lack of caring. at the end of the day, I really just want to express myself and connect with other people over our shared emotional experiences. I want to feel less alone, and I know I'm not alone in that.

I don't know how this project might change or stay the same. I would love to hear from you if you've struggled with similar questions as an artist or just as a person. hope to see you soon.

lots of love 💙

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