sorry if I haven't mad any videos I'm suffering from depression my life sucks right now

all day and every day all I'm doing is crying so much and im very sick not well
please understand I will try to do more asmr videos and blogs for you soon.twitter me if you like i'm so alone and depressed seems like no one around me understands how I feel people in society act like no big deal and that life is so easy and that people with mental issues not big deal and well its so hard for me i'm so stressed out I feel like I can't handle myself anymore no one around me cares enough like people doctors everyone around me like its all in my head move on but I been through so much not an attention seeker just want people to understand what i'm going thorugh but yet no one cares to give a damn what i'm going through SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE IS SO SELFISH SELF absorb with their own lives etc when they are sick or need help im there for them but when it comes to me no one cares I guess its because im too nice of a person anways what is the point like no matter where I go no one really as the true soloution to becoming happier person no one cares like its so hard to cope with anything makes me so frustrated and angry I feel like punching the wall over and over i'm so fed up with everything im sick of it all I hate this I hate it all people act is though im miss perfect and that I have so much confiedence tell me your so beautiful your so this or that but in reality I feel terrible I don't feel beautiful And I feel like a weak person to be honest I feel like my whole life is just waste of time I feel so alone and yes I have no friends because I stop talking to people I stay in my room all day obessing over my health my problems and yet all I do is sit here and cry and feel scared out my mind and alone I don't know what to do I feel so fearful alone its so hard and yet people can tell me its all in your head try a hobby get you mind off it i'm trying im really REALLY AM TRYING MY BEST PEOPLE IM TRYING MY BEST AND I KNOW ROME WASN'T BUILD IN A DAY I KNOW EVENTUALLY I WILL FEEL BETTER I KNOW I CAN OVER COME THIS I KNOW I CAN DO IT BUT I JUST WANTED PEOPLE IN MY FAMILY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IM GOING THROUGH YET THE DON'T BECAUSE THEY ALSO SOMETIMES GO THROUGH WHAT I GO THROUGH OR IN THE PAST THEY WENT THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH ITS MAKES ME sick to my stomach knowing that people are so selfish and when you ask them how did you over come stress or depression they don't want to talk about it or tell me its like a secret and its like you been there it feels horrible but yet you say nothing and YES !???! makes me so angry and upset that people are SO SELFISH yet I see so many girls and males online on youtube making depression videos or bullying videos whatever mental illness videos and they get millions of people saying its okay it will get better some that make those videos are very ill like me and people act like its no big deal life goes on GUESS WHAT PEOPLE LIFE MIGHT GO ON FOR YOU but it doesn't go on for me at all my mind is stuck in the same place scared lone but no one cares to understand what i'm going through they are so mean to me. yeah you tell me relax move on etc blah all that saying and stuff people are so selfish that all I have to say self absorb about themselves same thing goes to health professionals act like they care they say they can help and but what can they really do ?! yet I see myself and others in the youtube community of mental illness making videos about what they struggle with or what they go through it makes me sick that society itself doesn't seem to give a damn pop pills act like everything is okay go to the doctors for reassurance than more anti -depressants cycle keeps going never stops why because no social life here when you see other countries people are out and about socializing engaging with each other talking focusing on other things moving around having fun but where I live its so lonely no friends nothing cold here it sucks here everyone here so anti - social it makes me so sick like people stick within their social groups it makes me so sick that people can be so self centered not care at all
yet they try to judge you this also goes to health professionals who act like oh you can over come mental health issues fast by popping pills ummm I DON'T THINK SO ITS A JOURNAY YOU IDIOTS AND I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO SEEK HELP IF I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO HOW DARE YOU JUDGE ME OR SAY THIS OR THAT MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH AND VERY UPSET BUT GUESS WHAT I DON'T SAY ANYTHING to them I mean to the health professionals as I fear they would get upset with me and not help me and make me feel completely bad and more sick and it makes so upset that people are rude evil and negative and I wish there was just one person ONE PURE happy positive person out there in the world who really can call me or ew can facebook each other but I haven't found that person yet all I have seen is evil or self centred people that only care about themselves makes ME SO SICK TO MY STOMACH!